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I Am Free, That Is Why I'm Lost by RadiusZero I Am Free, That Is Why I'm Lost by RadiusZero
:tears: A piece dedicated to Parasite Eve's Aya Brea and Kyle Madigan, with elements of the Babel (from the game) included. Been working on and off again with this piece. I originally wanted to get this done by Valentine's Day. Alas, I was celebrating V-Day at the hospital. ;__; (Weeeh. I didn't even get to eat a chocolate! The horror! :( )

Anyway. I'm... still trying to get over that confusing-horrific-depressing-omg-I-want-a-tub-of-ice-cream-and-a-box-of-kleenix ending of 'The Third Birthday'. :( I haven't felt this way since the emo-ending to 'Galerians: Ash', which was another game that screwed me over for a good week or two (not even the 'special' ending helped!). :crying:

I don't know what the hell those game developers were thinking when they made the Third Birthday. But man, what a way to traumatize a few beloved characters and their fans! I won't give away too much, especially if you haven't played the 'Third Birthday' yet, but suffice to say, a LOT of fans (myself included) were pretty ticked off at what they did. During this game I felt both confused and very dirty. (That hidden CGI shower scene was... a bit much... >_> Although, to be fair, I wouldn't have minded a hidden Kyle shower scene too :giggle: )

While drawing/painting this, I listened to a lotta emotional melodies. I've been writing a fanfiction of 'Third Birthday' on the side, mostly about my favorite character, Kyle. :meow: It inspired me to actually draw this wedding picture of him and his wife, Aya. Thus, this picture is really about his perspective of the wedding event. Babel elements kinda intertwine around them, especially around Aya. The title, alone, should tell you what Kyle is thinking right now... :tears:

[link]

I was also listening to Aya's theme as well, from the game. It's still the most amazing VG soundtrack ever.

[link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmitochondria55:
mitochondria55 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
Great artwork. Really. I like this piece very, very much. Most parasite eve related stuff are a bit more kind of pornographic. It would be better if artworks such as this is around. Thank you.
Reply
:iconjosephseraph:
JosephSeraph Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's really beautiful... Now if you will, I will not fav it only because AYA IS ASIAN ;~;
AND YOU MADE HER FACE LOOK LIKE MORE LIKE HEATHER FROM SILENT HILL THAN MY LITTLE BEAUTIFUL ASIAN AYA BREA ;~;
Even though this is so incredibly beautiful, well done, amazing and heartwarming I WILL NOT FAV IT and I will fav some other art of yours else instead. ;~;
#YouHurtMyFeelingsWithHeatherAya
Reply
:iconcalisto:
calisto Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012
Beautiful work. I'm also an avid PE fan, though unable to play 3rd Birthday due to a lack of systems; however, from what I understand, the developers made it clear that Third Birthday is not a direct sequel to the first two games. That was huge when they were marketing it for release. So, here's hoping that we, in the future, will get a proper Parasite Eve 3.
Reply
:icondarkeyoxvi:
darkeyoXVI Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012
beautiful drawing....i really love the color blending :D
Reply
:iconmitarashixp:
MitarashiXP Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
SUCH BEAUTIFUL ART
*drools*
3RD BDAY FTW
Reply
:iconzraffe:
Zraffe Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012
Hey there, your piece has been featured in :icondigital-art-club: Here [link]
Reply
:iconglowingqueen:
glowingqueen Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2012
What confused me the most is why the SWAT team that gunned down Aya and Kyle along with the preacher?! Who sent them? And what angered me is that there wasn't much of family and friends in the church! Aya's father who is supposedly still alive has never been seen in the series but mentioned in the first game but the supplemental materials stated that Aya was in foster care!
Reply
:iconokami925:
Okami925 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Oh my god. The feels I'm having right now. ALL OF MY FEELS.
Reply
:iconjehrico:
Jehrico Featured By Owner May 5, 2012
You never fail to amaze me ^^, another fantastic piece
Reply
:iconmeghanniebla:
meghanniebla Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This is lovely! Your coloring is perfection! I love the expressions on their faces and all the detailing.
Reply
:icontheglowing:
TheGlowing Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012
Woah, amazing work! It looks exactly like a painting.
Reply
:iconfreyatsukinami:
FreyaTsukinami Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2012  Student General Artist
WOAH!! Awesome!
Reply
:iconghirik:
Ghirik Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012
This is so :la::la::la::la::la: !!! I love it !!!
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Thanks so much for the love and support over this piece. :flirty: It makes me excited to read comments like this! :D
Reply
:iconghirik:
Ghirik Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012
Haha, you're absolutely welcome ! :hug:
Reply
:iconamberrant:
Amberrant Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This looks superb! What dramatic colours :faint:
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Thank you many times for this wonderful comment. I'm constantly experimenting with colors and am excited you dig the piece! :boogie: I swear, me and color have an intense relationship. On some days, we get along. On other days though... >_>
Reply
:iconamberrant:
Amberrant Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Art would be fun if you aced every trial. Keep at it.
Reply
:iconpinklady92:
pinklady92 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Lovely
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Thanks so much for leaving me a comment! ^__^ (and sorry for the delay, lol)
Reply
:iconpinklady92:
pinklady92 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Nps
Reply
:iconbandeau:
bandeau Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Oh god, I both love that I saw this and hate that I saw this. I was a huge, HUGE Parasite Eve fan, but I don't own a PSP (I really don't like portable games) so I knew nothing about the third volume. I just googled it now to see what happens and...and.... NO! I just refuse.

*cough* I absolutely love this picture though.
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Weeeh, your comment was how I felt when I first realized that Youtube was showing Third Birthday walkthroughs. I was excited to see it (since I didn't own a PSP at the time) but as I saw the story 'unfold' I immediately regretted it. :( Knowing the ending of it now, it really is sad, isn't it? Not sure if you saw the walkthroughs, but did you see what they did to poor Maeda? He became such a pervy! @_@
Reply
:iconbandeau:
bandeau Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Ah! No I didn't watch all of the walkthroughs (I cheated and just watched the ending(s) XD) so I missed the new Maeda. However, after seeing the "secret" ending all I can say is pffffft, Aya is too badass to totally kill her off. Give Square another eight or so years and there'll be a PE4 with a non-corporeal Aya haha
Reply
:iconowlteria:
Owlteria Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Omg, your piece is amazing! :wow: I have no words for this, I wish I could draw like you... This is so beautiful. <3 So many details, I can look at this for hours! *w* Great job. Keep it up <3
Reply
:iconexusiasword:
ExusiaSword Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Dem Square-Enix for mindf'''ing us!
We can think up of an alternate ending for the 3rd Birthday!
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Ugh... Square Enix. I used to love those guys. But lately, they've been dropping the ball, especially with 3rd Birthday. >_> They've been trying so hard to be 'philosophical' that their games' plot have suffered and become huge messes of poop. They need to go back to Storytelling 101 and relearn how to tell a story; not dump 100+ files on us and expect us to read through it to figure out what the heck is going on. :P Sadly, half of those files were either filled with confusing nonsense or trivial information (like Ginger's backstory... Really? Do I *really* need to know about some German singer's upbringing and her career and her death and her...? Sheesh. Enough. How about a bit of explanation on the SWAT team attack instead? >.<).

But yeah, I agree with you; we can create an alternate ending for 3rd Birthday. Thank gawd for fanfiction.net T_T
Reply
:iconexusiasword:
ExusiaSword Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
One thing,the High One's transformation became too much of Kingdom Hearts style,I thought they'd start ripping their skin off.

The SWAT team attack was actually planned by Hyde Bohr(Ansem the Wise alert).
He ratted out Kyle's location(now he got into trouble with the White House) so the SWAT team was on the president's order.
Just a little theory tho.
At the same time they would have assaulted Aya in the process,shooting 2 birdies with 1 stone.

Coz this artwork of yours is stupefying,I can only salute you with this!
[link]
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012
OMG, I thought the same thing too! The High Ones became the Nobodies and the Twisted became the Heartless. Meanwhile, Hyde became Ansem and Eve became Roxas. @_@ I'm just... ugh. ;__; It's almost like they ran outta ideas and decided to recycle a few of them. I wouldn't have minded much of it, except I felt they tried to come off as a complicated story with all that 'parallel dimension' crap. >_>

I also have a similar theory. In fact... I'd go as far as to suggest Hyde was close friends with Kyle (not with Aya as many believe). Several things led me to this conclusion: 1) Notice how Hyde sits at the groom's side? As wedding customs go, there needs to be a witness from both sides of the family present. Eve obviously represented Aya's side. Hyde represented Kyle's side. 2) Kyle had worked with an unknown new organization, according to his profile. Hyde could've worked there which is where they could've developed a close relationship. Lastly, 3) Kyle was aware Eve was Aya at the end of the scene. Thus, he recalled all the events that happened previously. Hyde is not present in this scenario. If Kyle remembered who was responsible for what went down, then it'd make sense of him not to invite or befriend Hyde. With no Hyde present, no SWAT team is present. I mention all this because it ties with your theory: with no Hyde there was no SWAT.

It wouldn't be too much stretch of the imagination to believe the government wanted to wipe out Kyle and Aya, especially when both knew all about the NMC business. When playing the so-and-so ending of PE2 (where you save Flint but not Pierce), the Admiral discusses everything from erasing memories to sending a team after Kyle.

For myself, I actually suspect there may be more to Kyle than what we're lead to believe. It seemed odd that he was about to mentally communicate with Aya after he got shot and was supposed to be dead. @_@ And it was pretty surreal that he survived the SWAT attack (which was how he managed to remain in the present). From PE2, we also know he lost his leg. Yet, there he is... walking around. One could assume it's a leg implant, but we never see that implant either. I'm tempted to think he might have some mitochondrial abilities (healing, in particular, since he keeps surviving all sorts of death scenarios :P). I think he intentionally allowed himself to be set on fire during PE2 so that Aya could do most of the work (like retrieve Eve at Neo Ark) while he tended to his own business (like keep in contact with No.9 and set up the satellite coordinates).

If my theory that Kyle *did* have mitochondrial abilities, then this could serve as another motive to assassinate *both* Kyle and Aya... If Hyde and the government feared their union, especially if Aya could potentially give birth to an ultimate being, it'd make sense to put a stop to their wedding. >_>

Eeeeeeee!!!!!!! A Kyle fanart piece! :eager: I must see it now! @_@
Reply
:iconasiangrl171:
asiangrl171 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012
That's beautiful and I was getting to Parasite Eve because of The Third B-day. Still don't like the ending but the secret ending made it a little better.
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Thanks so much for leaving me a comment on my PE fanart! *__* (and apologies for the delay, lol)

Yeah, the ending was confusing. I managed to make sense of it but am still annoyed that they didn't bother telling us WHY SWAT attacked Aya and Kyle in the first place. T_T The secret ending made things better, but I really hope we see more of Aya in Third Birthday sequels instead of Eve. I read somewhere that a Parasite Eve 3 game was unnecessary since Aya's story was done and now it was time to switch it up a bit. Not sure how to feel about that since Eve's character was such a submissive character that practically groaned every time she read something... talked to someone... ran outta ammo... took a shower... I liked Aya because she was such a strong-willed character. And I also liked Kyle because he was such a colorful guy. :( I'd hate to think any new PE games will star Eve and forget the rest of the previous characters.
Reply
:iconasiangrl171:
asiangrl171 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012
You welcome and it's okay. Now to think about it why did SWAT attack Aya and Kyle while they getting married. Something not's right. You can't barge in a church while a couple is getting married and or a church mass going on.
Reply
:iconthe-fantasy-goddess:
The-Fantasy-Goddess Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ohmygosh, so beautiful! I know what you mean about the ending, I was so sad! Have you seen the special ending to it???
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Yaaaay! A fellow PE fan! :excited: (love your avatar btw) Sorry for the delayed reply but I wanted to say thanks for dropping by. I was really hoping "I Am Free that is Why I'm Lost" would summon PE fans. I'm a bit sad by how few we are. ;__; Even on DA, there isn't enough PE fanart.

Ugh. That ending. >.< I saw the special ending to it so I'm a bit happy. But I'm depressed over Aya and Kyle's broken wedding. I'm a fan of Kyle myself so I really hope I see him again in a sequel. :( However, I suspect any Third Birthday sequels will revolve around Eve now. Not sure how to feel about that. She was such a girly wuss. >_>
Reply
:iconthe-fantasy-goddess:
The-Fantasy-Goddess Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, I still like Eve though. I'm also sure that if they do make more games with her that she'll grow as a character.
Reply
:iconcinnamoron:
Cinnamoron Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012
Wahhh!!!?!? You were in the hospital? :nuu:

I hope you are feeling better now; everyone was asking about you at the con this weekend...
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
eeek, been going through my messages and saw this here. @_@ Sorry for not replying back asap. But yep, I was in the hospital. I had my gall bladder removed. ;__; I'm feeling better now. Although, I do feel a bit more tired than usual (which accounts for my lack of online presence >_> ). A woman at work who had hers removed said she felt tired all the time too.

How'd your con go, btw??? *__*
Reply
:iconladyxzero:
LadyxZero Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
It's just...amazing...I can't describe how much emotions this art put me trough now!
I;m a big fan or PE, The 3rd Birthday also - when I played the game and saw THAT ending, geez, Squre-Enix, You want me to die out there? It was really sad and heartbreaking...poor Kyle! :<

Anyway, I'm in love with Your style and this drawing, keep it up and I'm honored to accept it to the Aya Brea lovers group :)
Reply
:iconthegrief:
TheGrief Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Student General Artist
This is awesome! I'm a huge fan of the Parasite Eve series! :squee: Once again I'm amazed at your execution in your piece! I've played PE1 and PE2 but haven't been able to play 3rd Birthday since I don't own a PSP but I've seen a walkthough of it. Freaking game confused me even though its supposed to be "clear" towards the end as to how the Twisted came to be and how little Eve disappeared, etc.

But the music..... FFFF. Amazing--- *passes out*

Awesome once again! :meow:
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Eeeeeeeeeee! A fellow PE fan!!! Yaaaaaay! :eager: Surprisingly, there aren't many of us. @_@ I was said to see a lack of PE fanart, even on Deviantart. With Third Birthday, I expected to see more of it. For myself, I'm Kyle fan and seeing art of him or reading stories with him in it are rare gems. :(

So happy you enjoy this piece! I tried to convey that emotional trauma between Kyle and Aya. I'm still sad over the whole ending. :( I really hope Kyle returns in a sequel and finds the answer to bringing Aya back. T_T

The music was amazing, wasn't?! *__* That was one thing Third Birthday excelled at. I listened to the tracks during my time coloring this. My favorite track is the U.B. remake version. Sounds awesome. @_@
Reply
:iconscoutingforgeeks:
ScoutingForGeeks Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I love this, the detail and the colours are really beautiful
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Sorry for the long delay in reply, but thank you so much for leaving this wonderful comment. I tried to incorporate a mixture of details in this piece as well as color to set the tone. I'm thrilled to know you enjoyed it. :D

BTW, really love your username, lol!
Reply
:iconartictiger:
ArticTiger Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I missed your works for a while now I was like Hey where is RadiusZero? Ohh dam that's right going away for a while for surgery and recovery. :heart: I had to read the artist's comment twice at the beginning. "Uh? Parasite Eve? WTH.. Ohhh!" Hell its been far too dam long since I played that game let alone own the original Playstation + games :( I gave it away to someone who would have more time & use with that set, where it was doing nothing but sitting in my cabinet collecting dust :(

:hug:s you Yeah your back!
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Thanks for the love and support! *__* And apologies for the delayed reply. :B Yeah, been gone awhile. It's been a mixture of working at retail and trying to squeeze in some projects. I'm trying to balance things a bit, although, it's been hard getting myself motivated to do new art, lol. Still, it's great to have support like this. :headbang:

Hah, I'm so happy you remembered PE. I got another one in the works. This second piece will be more action oriented. I'm hoping that ppl at the cons will remember this beloved series and show some PE love. It's gotta be one of the most underrated games ever. :( Still, I loved it and am glad you played it. :D
Reply
:iconshizzi:
Shizzi Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012
It's wonderful, this colouring... Breathtaking!
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Many thanks for the love and support over my "I Am Free that is Why I'm Lost" piece! *__* I really tried to create a breathtaking/romantic piece, which is something I don't often do. :P It's great to know you enjoyed this work. :meow:
Reply
:iconmysterykids:
Mysterykids Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
This is so beautiful !!!!! I really love it
Reply
:iconradiuszero:
RadiusZero Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment on my piece (and apologies for the delay) :P It means a lot when people post and fave my work since it tells me if I'm headed at the right direction. :D
Reply
:iconforgotten-light:
forgotten-light Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012
I don't know what this is fanart for but it is absolutely gorgeous :love: Those intertwining swirls or have not at the bottom are awesome. I always love how you use colors.
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